Mohabbat (Tina) Shamsaei
Critique Based on “Football Envy at the UN” by Kofi Annan Kofi Annan is a Ghanaian diplomat who served two terms as the first black African secretary general of the United Nations. He and the United Nations co-received “2001 Noble Peace Prize” for their work regarding a better organized and more peaceful world. . In this essay the author states that he wishes people around the World would come together as they do for the World Cup and celebrate common humanity. Despite his impressive work at the UN, “Football Envy at the UN” by Kofi Annan is not a well written essay because the author uses a rather informal tone(.) The informal tone results in …. assumed thesis is a serious matter as he talks about the United Nations, he does not attempt to prove his claims with examples to back up his argument and lastly, his comparison of the UN to the World Cup and football is illogical as they are not very related. (the last sentence is a run on sentence, you might want to consider changing it. I tried to put a period after informal tone but I don’t know exactly how you want to set it up to flow coherently)
The author uses an informal tone to convey a noticeably important subject matter such as the UN and human rights. The tone of an essay has great influence on how serious the argument comes across to the reader and being informal creates a more humorous essay. He refers to the United Nations as “us” in his first sentence as well as last paragraph, which makes it sound as if this essay is written on behalf of everyone who is part of the United Nations. This creates confusion because he does not give any information about representing the entire population of the UN. In conclusion, he is only expressing his personal opinions and not the United Nation’s opinion. This personally negatively (take personally negatively out) changed my point of view towards the author and made the essay less significant. The importance of the...
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