Letter of Advice
Dear Tammy and Edward,
Frist of all I would like to congratulate you on your new engagement. I am truly honored for you to ask my advice on interpersonal communication for your relationship. Throughout this letter, I will cover various aspects of communication and basic principles. Hopefully this information will not only help you with your communication with one another, but with others as well. The best advice I can give you is to keep your communication with one another open, and to always explore each other’s minds.
For your relationship to have an effective amount of interpersonal communication, you must apply the various principles of interpersonal communication. Interpersonal communication is defined as being the process of exchanging messages, usually between two people, to create and share meaning. (Sole, K)(2011) Throughout my interpersonal communication class at Ashford University I’ve learned there are five skills to always remember to keep your communication open and healthy throughout your relationship. These five skills are listening, people skills, emotional intelligence, appropriate skill selection, and communicating ethnically. (Sole, K.)(2011). If you try to conquer these skills then you shouldn’t have any problems with communication. The two I find to be best helpful are listening and emotional intelligence. The reasons I’ve picked these two are because they are what can really hurt your relationship. It is stated that throughout your relationship you will do more listening than speaking. Listening is more than just hearing the words; you also need to comprehend what is being said. (Sole, K.)(2011). Before starting the interpersonal communication class, I didn’t think I had a problem with listening. But after reading the book, and reading other post from my fellow classmates, I realized that my listening skills aren’t where they should be. This can be very damaging to your relationship.
As I mentioned before your listening skills is the most important skill to maintain in a relationship. I have found a website that has helped me become a better listener. Susie Cortright says “Active listening is really an extension of the Golden Rule, but to know how to listen to someone else, think about how you would want to be listened to”. (Cortright, S.). By becoming a better listener you are improving you’re productivity, as well as your ability to influence, persuade and negotiate. The ten ways Cortright believes that can improve your listening skills are: 1. Face the speaker.
2. Maintain eye contact with the speaker.
3. Minimize external distractions
4. Respond appropriately to show that you understand.
5. Focus on what the speaker is saying.
6. Minimize internal distractions.
7. Keep an open mind.
8. Avoid letting the speaker know how you handled similar situations 9. Wait until speaker is done talking before speaking.
10. Engage yourself.
Throughout the upcoming years, you may find that your communication between one another may cease. You may find it easier to have a conversation with a stranger than with your spouse. Don’t be alarmed when this happens. It can happen to the best relationships. Communication is not just exchanging words with one another. It’s much more than that. Communication is the process in which we share information, ideas, and feelings. (Sole, K.)(2011). One great article to read is Can we talk? Researchers talks about the role of communication in marriage by Schoenberg. The article states that many married couples believe they are communicating with one another, but find out it’s not enough. Tammy and Edward, it is important not only to talk about everyday things with one another, but to also share your feelings, fears, perceptions and doubts with one another. Researchers have shown that couple who already disclose these things with one another are happily married. (Schoenberg, N.)(1011). Orchich states...
References: Cortright, S. (2005). “Ten Ways to Improve Your Listening Skills”, Retrieved from http://ezinearticles.com/?Ten-Ways-to-Improve-Your-Listening-Skills&id=179402
Demand Media, Inc. 2011. http://www.livestrong.com/article/123418-nonverbal-communication-affect-relationships/
DeVito, J. (1995-2010). “The Interpersonal Communication Book”, Retrieved from http://wps.ablongman.com/ab_devito_intrprsnl_10/9/2355/602894.cw/index.html
Nowlin, A. & Nowlin, K. (2011). “To have and to hold, for better or worse” Retrieved from Pro Quest from Ashford Online Library http://proquest.umi.com/pqdweb?index=2&did=2440915481&SrchMode=1&sid=4&Fmt=3&VInst=PROD&VType=PQD&RQT=309&VName=PQD&TS=1318962546&clientId=74379
Schoenberg, N. (2011). “Can we talk? Researchers talks about the role of communication in marriages”. Retrieved from Proquest, Ashford Library.
Sole, K. (2011).”Making connections: Understanding interpersonal communication.” San Diego, CA: Bridgepoint Education, Inc. (http://content.ashford.edu)
Unknown Author. “Three elements of communication – and the so called "7%-38%-55% Rule".
Retrieved from: http://www.bookmarklee.co.uk/2007/01/07/three-elements-of-communication-and-the-so-called-7-38-55-rule/.
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